The life I live.....

So it's been a long while since I have graced my blog. Been busy, a little lazy and I guess I just don't write about everything I do I suppose. But tonight I just wanted to write a little update on the year so far. A lot has happened since I last wrote in January. First I want to go on a little about my litte girl, Kaiya. She has been amazing in every way. She has her first birthday on the 18th of this month and I can't believe we are at this point already. Seems like just yesterday that she was the size of my forearm and weighed about 5 pounds. Now a year later she still barely comes to my knees and only weighes 17 pounds, but she's trying to walk and can at least say "hi" and "dad". Good enough for me, I couldn't be more proud! My wife and I have been extremely lucky to have such an easy going and happy little girl. Anyway, so since January it seems like we have been everywhere. My wife's grandmother died in Jan. so she was gone for a few days, then all was quiet until. April when she suprised me for my birthday and we headed out to the Columbia, SC zoo and then on to Carowinds for a little roller coaster action. Then on that same weekend, she threw me a suprise party, at which I was definetely suprised. Then on to May, where my wife went back to Columbia with all my sisters for a getaway, followed by my sister Karie's wedding to Ryan Jury on May 15th and then we headed down to Hilton Head Island for a few days for an early anniverssary trip. Somewhere in all of that we were in Myrtle Beach with a couple of friends from Utah (Brian and Lacee). We have also been back up to Fayetteville numerous times and back and forth to Myrtle Beach. That's just the half of what I've been up to in the past year, but figured I needed a brief update. Today however was when we actually celebrated our anniverssary with dinner at The Melting Pot, which was all kinds of fun in and of itself and then we headed down to the beach for a little lightning and fireworks show. It was a pretty night to be out in the sand. So now it's late and I have church in the morning, so off to bed I go. Hopefully I'll be on more to keep things updated. Till then, good night.

My Life and My Strength

Beyond the thoughts,
Of a scattered brain,
Beyond the whims,
Of choice like rain.
Comes the joy of my life,
And the strength of my will,
To keep a smile on my face,
For my journey uphill.
I tell you now,
From the beat in my chest,
Where my life and my will,
Have served me best!
First, my life I pursue,
And the pleasure therein,
Are the one and the two,
To keep the happiness in.
My mate forever,
My child so pure;
Place faith in a man,
With a destiny unsure.
How do they trust?
Why do they Love?
The answer I know,
Sung sweet as a dove!
Bound tight by chains,
Yet free as nature,
Our love remains,
As the grandest feature!
My life on Earth,
Made sense at last,
By the One and the Two,
And the shadow they cast.
Next my will and my wish,
To do well by these two,
Is strong to the end,
'Cause the kiss and the coo.
My mate pushes gently,
My child laughs daily,
To help me dream,
And create my destiny.
Without them both,
I'm merely a boy,
On the edge of an ocean,
No will and no joy.
Now bring them together,
You'll see in my face,
My life and my will,
Forever in place!
I owe them alone,
My spirit and heart,
As the sun has shown,
We will never part!

My Love will always go out first to you Emily, the reason my heart beats!
And to you Kaiya, the reason I move forward with faith!
Thank you both for my life!

Joseph Brett Shurtleff

I thought she was pretty until she smiled....now she is beautiful!!

My personal gift from God....

3 Nephi 17:21-24

21 And when he had said these words, he wept, and the multitude bare record of it, and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them.

22 And when he had done this he wept again;

23 And he spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones.

24 And as they looked to behold they cast their eyes towards heaven, and they saw the heavens open, and they saw angels descending out of heaven as it were in the midst of fire; and they came down and encircled those little ones about, and they were encircled about with fire; and the angels did minister unto them.

I was sitting and thinking of my baby Kaiya Lilly Shurtleff, when I got the urge to read this scripture. Never before have I felt so much love for 2 individuals as I do now for my wife and my new baby girl. I can't wait to see my Heavenly Father and my brother and savior Jesus Christ and allow him to bless me family like the children in these verses. After reading and pondering this, I couldn't help but to go into the other room kneel down on my knees and give the most sincere thanks to my Father in Heaven for these two wonderful people in my life. I cried like a baby with joy and gratitude. I could never live without them. I only hope that I can create the same feelings of love and gratitude within my child(ren) as I continue to live and teach them here on earth. I love you Kaiya! May the angels of heaven surround you at all times!

Birthing experience....

I have tons to say about my new little girl, but first I gotta talk about the past week's experience in the hospital. I have to say that nothing in this world can make you feel more helpless than to see a love one in so much pain and not be able to do a thing about it. Of course growing up as a Latter Day Saint I do believe that there are things on a spiritual level that I can do and I can put much trust in God. But after that point, just watching the pain is unbearable at times. I admit there were times during my wife's pregnancy that it bothered me so much that I would almost ignore her to avoid the guilt of not being able to take away the pain. Now in the past week was even worse. She had nurses and doctors looking after her 24/7 and she was still in pain. What do you do after that? All I could do was stay with her and hold her hand through the worst times I guess. So after saying that, we entered the hospital on Mon night the 16th. That night she was given an I.V. and medicine to soften her cervix. Defying statistics, Emily quickly started dilating. Terrible pain; they gave her pain medicine concoctions which only made her drunk, but never deadened the pain. A long first night I promise you that. After getting only 3 hours sleep in a very uncomfortable chair we started early the next day with her getting drugs to start the induction. When they started this she dilated to a 4 fairly quickly and when she did they decided it was time for the epidural. Thank goodness for that, cause most pain and all itching subsided with the use of that miracle. While she tried to nap I ran home to shower and get lunch to prepare for more waiting at the hospital. Through the rest of the day we waited played games and talked to many family members anxious to know what's happening. Finally, about 10:30 or so she dilated to a 5 and things moved quick from there. Soon a 6 and at that point I decided to go down and tell the parents. 15 min later when I returned to the room she was in much pain. We buzzed for the nurses, who when checking Em, said she was a 10 and was ready to push. This was about 11:40. My amazing wife started pushing and at exactly 12 midnight, my perfect little girl took her first breathe in this world. My emotions were high and mixed, I felt unexplainable love for the two of them, and complete gratitude for the nurse. Unfortunately, that was not the end. We enjoyed the moment while I took pictures of Kaiya getting cleaned and prepped for this world. I then said, "I'll see ya in a minute," to my wife and followed Kaiya down to the nursery. 15 min later I returned to a blood soaked room to see Emmy prepped for the O.R. She was bleeding and they rolled her away without an explanation. My heart sank, and again helplessness set in. I called family and told of the mixed news. Thankfully, after everything she was brought back to me. Healthy and happy to be done. My love! What would I do without you?

First Few Days

Kaiya Lilly Shurtleff